For many online daters, going from online messaging to truly transgender dating has become an unconscious, flippant experience, an anxiety-inducing adventure, or an incredibly messy process. It’s natural for people to think, if the messaging seems to be going well and the person you’re talking to suddenly goes missing, what’s the problem? Did you say something or didn’t you say something? Is the other person dealing with external life events that have nothing to do with you? Here are a few possible mistakes you may have made in passing messages that you missed the trans date you were supposed to have.
Trying to sell yourself by sending a message only makes you look arrogant or desperate. It’s normal to want to be liked and understood by more people, but too much self-promotion can backfire. It is not advisable to use words like “smart, successful, handsome, beautiful, generous and mature” in messages. This act of self-evaluation and bragging will only make you look arrogant. Remember that sharing your strengths and successes with your trans dating partner is not the same thing as bragging and bragging about your successes. You’re likely to miss out on a date if your message sounds more like bragging, suspicious or hypocritical.
Your message is too long for others to read and respond to. While you’re willing to get to know someone through communication and sharing, sending a message that reads aimlessly boring or like a long chapter in a novel can lead to a lack of response. This type of message is likely to directly scare off potential partners or keep them from knowing how to respond, especially if a message contains too much information, is overshared, or raises too many questions. Remember that your goal is short and sweet, and remind yourself not to over-elaborate or share your entire life story. If the date succeeds, you’ll have plenty of opportunities and time to share your life story.
You rarely give anyone anything to respond to. If your correspondent is doing all the work to keep in touch with you, they may give up. They will probably think you have no interest in them, no time, no preparation, or because they are exhausted trying to understand you. It’s important to be active and make sure you don’t make people feel like they’re not forcing you to communicate. If you are such a shy and reserved character, then it’s best to be honest about it, rather than giving nothing back without explanation. It’s ok to grow slowly, but also make sure you’re actively engaged and open and talkative.
Of course, these are just a few of the things to watch out for, but being aware of them can also help you win over your transgender date.