Way of talking and listening to transgender people

I’m a transgender, and let me take a guess at some of thoughts that might be running through your head.
“What is transgender? Does it mean that they are actually a man or actually a woman?” “I wonder if he’s had the surgery.” “They are so brave.” There are so many questions you may want to ask. I want to share my personal experiences being transgender. People are always wondering how we have sex and what kind of equipment we are working with. Being trans is awkward. And not just because the gender I was assigned at birth mismatches the one I really as. Being trans is awkward, because everyone else gets awkward when they are around me. People who support me and all other transgender people wholeheartedly are often so scared to say to wrong thing, so embarrasses to not know what they think they should, that they never ask. Part of what was so nerve-racking about coming out as transgender was knowing that people wouldn’t know what I meant. And when someone comes out as gay, people know what that means, but when you come out as trans, you have to face the misconceptions that will color other people’s impressions of you even after you’ve educated them, and you will have to educate them. I wrote at 10-page encyclopedic document with a zip-file attachment of music and videos that I sent to every single person I came out to. I kept it in my email signature for months afterwards, because you also don’t ever top coming out. When I came out to my dad, to my great relief, he was totally cool with me being trans, but as soon as I started talking about physically transitioning, he freaked. I quickly realized it was because he like so many other people, think that physical transition means just one thing: the surgery. If there were one magical surgery that could turn me into a tall, muscular, socially perfect image of a man overnight, I’d sign up in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, it isn’t that simple. There are dozens of different gender-affirming surgeries from chest surgeries to bottom surgeries to facial feminization and man-sculpting. Many trans people will only ever undergo one procedure in their lifetime, if that. Maybe because they don’t personally feel the need but also because they are expensive, and health insurance is only beginning to cover them. Instead, the first step for a trans person seeking physical transition is usually hormone replacement therapy. Hormones are why I have a deeper voice and some sparse whiskers on my neck and a giant pimple on my chin. Because our transitions are slower ans steadier than historic misconceptions can lead people to believe, there can be some confusion about when to call someone by their new name and pronouns. There’s no distinct point in physical transition at which a trans person becomes their true gender. As soon as they tell you their new name and pronouns, that’s when you start using them. I’ve slipped myself with other trans people, and I think we can make the same effort for the real humans in our lives.
I’ve given you a starter pack of trans knowledge that I hope will lead to more learning on your own. Talk to trans people, and listen to them.